Extract 1
/20
INT. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY
WALTER STRATFORD, Kat and Bianca’s overly-protective father--an
obstetrician--enters through the front door rifling through the mail.
WALTER
(to Kat)
Hello Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
KAT
Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty.
Walter smiles proudly as Bianca walks in and kisses him on the cheek.
BIANCA
Hi Daddy.
WALTER
Hello, precious.
KAT
And where've you been?
BIANCA
(gives Kat a sour look)
Nowhere.
Walter, who hasn’t raised his eyes from the mail, is inspecting a letter.
WALTER
What's this? It says Sarah Lawrence?
Kat snatches it away from him and runs across the room in a flurry of
excitement, tearing it open and reading the contents silently.
KAT
I got in! I got in!
WALTER
Uh, honey that’s great. But isn’t Sarah Lawrence on the
other side of the country?
KAT
Thus the basis of its appeal.
WALTER
Yeah. I thought we decided you were gonna stay here and
go to U Dub like me. Be a husky.
He makes some inspiring growling noises.
KAT
No, you decided.
WALTER
Oh okay. So you just pick up and leave, is that it?
BIANCA
(brimming at the idea)
Let’s hope so.
Kat gives Bianca a spiteful look then smiles sweetly.
KAT
Ask Bianca who drove her home.
WALTER
Kat, don’t change the...drove?
(to Bianca)
Who drove you home?
Bianca glares at Kat then turns to Walter
BIANCA
Now don't get upset, daddy, but there's
this boy...
KAT
Who’s a flaming imbecile.
WALTER
Please...
BIANCA
(continuing)
and I think he might ask me...
WALTER
Please. I think I know what he’s going to ask you.
And I think I know the answer: No. It’s always no.
What are the house rules? #1: no dating till you graduate.
#2: no dating till you graduate. That’s it.
BIANCA
Daddy, that’s so unfair.
WALTER
Alright. You wanna know what’s unfair?
(to Kat)
This is for you too.
(continues)
This morning I delivered a set of twins to
a 15 year old girl. Do you know what she said to me?
BIANCA
I’m a crack-whore who should have made my sleazy
boyfriend wear a condom?
Walter pauses and thinks for a moment.
WALTER
Close. But no. She said: I should have listened
to my father.
BIANCA
She did not.
WALTER
Well, that’s what she would’ve said if she wasn’t
so doped up.
BIANCA
Can we focus on me for a second please? I am
the only girl in school who’s not dating.
WALTER
Oh no you’re not. Your sister doesn’t date.
KAT
And I don’t intend to.
WALTER
And why is that again?
Walter is pleased and points to Bianca, expecting Kat to justify him.
KAT
Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?
BIANCA
Where did you come from? Planet Loser?
KAT
As opposed to planet “look at me! look at me!”?
WALTER
Okay, here’s how we solve this one. Old rule out.
New rule: Bianca can date...
Bianca lights up and Kat looks upset.
WALTER
(continuing)
...when she does.
(points at Kat)
BIANCA
But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?
WALTER
(very pleased with his new rule)
Then you‘ll never date. Oh, I like that. And I'll get to
sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father who’s
daughters aren’t out being impregnated.
His beeper goes off and he heads for the door. Kat heads for the
stairs.
WALTER
(to Kat)
We’ll talk about Sarah Lawrence later.
KAT
Fine.
BIANCA
Wait! Daddy!
WALTER
I gotta go.
He leaves.
BIANCA
Can’t you find [a sad enough] retard to take you
to the movies so I can have just one date?
KAT
I’m sorry. Looks like you’ll just have to miss out
on the witty repartee of Joey “eat me” Donner.
BIANCA
You suck.
KAT
(imitating Bianca)
You suck.
Extract 3
Cameron /16 Patrick /16 Michael /14
EXT. SOCCER FIELD - DAY
Cameron sits next to Patrick on the bleachers as they watch
the girls practice.
CAMERON
What'd you do to her?
PATRICK
I didn’t do anything.
Would’ve been too drunk to remember.
CAMERON
But the plan was working.
PATRICK
What do you care? I thought you wanted out.
CAMERON
Yeah, well I did, but, uh, that was until she
kissed me.
PATRICK
(grins)
Where?
CAMERON
In the car.
Michael is jogging up to them from across the jogging track. As he
crosses it, he is nearly run over by two joggers.
MICHAEL
Sorry.
JOGGERS
Dweeb! Putz!
MICHAEL
I’m Sorry!
He sits with Cameron and Patrick.
MICHAEL
Alright. I talked to her. I got the scoop.
CAMERON
What did she say?
MICHAEL
Hates him with the fire of a
thousand suns. That's a direct quote.
PATRICK
Thanks, Malcolm. That’s very comforting of you.
CAMERON
We don’t know. She could just need a day to cool
off.
A soccer ball flies past them from the field, narrowly missing their
heads. Kat stands menacingly glaring at them.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Maybe two.
Extract 4
/20
INT. BIANCA'S ROOM - DAY
Bianca lies on her bed watching The Real World Seattle. A knock sounds.
BIANCA
(annoyed)
Come in.
Kat enters.
KAT
(kindly)
Listen I know...
Bianca isn’t listening. Kat turns off the TV.
KAT
(continuing)
Listen, I know you hate having to sit at
home because I'm not Susie High School.
BIANCA
Like you care.
KAT
I do care. But I'm a firm believer in
doing something for your own reasons, and
not someone else's.
BIANCA
Well, I wish I had that luxury. You know, I'm the only
sophomore that got asked to the prom and
I can't go, because you don’t feel like it.
KAT
Joey never told you that we went out, did
he?
BIANCA
(doesn’t believe her)
Yeah, okay.
KAT
In 9th. For a month
BIANCA
(can tell she’s serious and is confused)
Why?
KAT
(self-mocking)
Because he was, like, such a babe.
BIANCA
But you hate Joey
KAT
Now I do.
BIANCA
So what happened?
Kat indicates with a nod and a raised eyebrow that they
went all the way.
BIANCA
Oh! Please tell me you’re joking.
KAT
Just once, right after mom left. Everyone was doing
it, so... I did it. Afterwards, I told him I
didn't want to anymore because I wasn't ready
and he got pissed and dumped me.
Bianca stares at her, dumbfounded
KAT
(continuing)
After that I swore I'd never do
anything just because "everyone else"
was doing it. And I haven't since.
With the exception of Bogey's party and my
stunning digestive pyrotechnics.
BIANCA
(stunned)
How is it possible that I did not know about this?
KAT
I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading
squad would find out how small his dick is.
BIANCA
Okay. So why didn't you tell me?
KAT
I wanted to let you make up your own
mind about him.
BIANCA
(angry)
Then why did you help Daddy hold me hostage?
Bianca stands up slowly
BIANCA
(continuing)
It’s not like I'm stupid enough to repeat your
mistakes.
KAT
I guess I thought I was protecting you.
BIANCA
By not letting me experience anything for myself?
KAT
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.
You can't always trust the people you
want to.
BIANCA
Well, I guess I'll never know, will I?
She rises and holds the door open for Kat, then slams it
behind her.
Extract 5
/16
Walter enters the balcony from the house.
WALTER
Where’s your sister going?
KAT
(sarcastic, as usual)
She’s meeting some bikers. Big
ones. Full of sperm.
WALTER
(not amused)
Funny. So tell me about this dance.
Was it.. hoppin‘?
She smirks at his attempted use of hip, young lingo.
KAT
Parts of it.
WALTER
Which parts?
KAT
The part where Bianca beat the hell out
of some guy.
WALTER
Bianca did what?
KAT
What's the matter? Upset that I rubbed
off on her?
WALTER
No. Impressed.
Kat looks up, surprised at her father‘s approval.
WALTER
(continuing)
You know, fathers don't like to admit it
when their daughters are capable of
running their own lives. It means we've
become spectators. Bianca still lets me
play a few innings. You've had me on
the bench for years. And when you go to
Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to
watch the game.
KAT
(hopeful)
When I go?
WALTER
Oh, boy. Don't tell me you've
changed your mind. I already sent 'em a
check.
Kat, overjoyed, reaches over and gives him a hug.
